Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
two two-religions annoying
Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
accepting status-quo visa
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
drug littles consumption
I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.
letting-go love-is discovery
I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.
jesus government speech
Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
prove-it prove i-can
I can't prove it, but I can say it.
want panama-canal canals
Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
nsa numbers tables
If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
passion sound opinion
You have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
running sorry men
Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
love-you angel men
Evil exists because of the disobedience of Satan. God gave Satan, and the angels, and man free will. Satan used his free will and abused it by not obeying authority. Hell was created by Satan’s disobedience to God, and his purposeful removal from God’s love—which is what hell is. Removing yourself from God’s love. You send yourself to hell. God does not send you there.
perception matter facts
Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.
syphilis cases castro
Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
running silly fall
They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, "What? What's that? I can't hear you