Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
host minutes producers
I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
names dry want
I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.
monkeys next theory
Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
pride mayonnaise hard
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
hot hard my-truth
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
comedy satire ripe
Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.
religion bills bill-o-reilly
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
math add silver
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
numbers devil letters
I've said it before: equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols.
mistake mean religion
I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
names pet goldfish
And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name; I'm not changing it.
sorry mean mirrors
Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
oregon california two
Washington is dangerously positioned between two Canadas, Canada Canada and California's Canada, Oregon.
als global-warming made
I believed in global warming after Al Gore's movie made money; the market had spoken.