Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
syphilis cases castro
Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
running silly fall
They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, "What? What's that? I can't hear you
football bowls
Football is American; why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
foundation terrible let-me
I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
waiting care lines
Now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.
use squat bigs
If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
host minutes producers
I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
names dry want
I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.
monkeys next theory
Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
pride mayonnaise hard
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
hot hard my-truth
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
comedy satire ripe
Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.
religion bills bill-o-reilly
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
math add silver
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.