Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
apology tsa atlanta
I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.
said
As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
nerd huge ifs
If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
running car want
When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
sarcastic native-american wonderful
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.
platypus beta stills
Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
sunset spoons want
Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
cows milk cry
Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
flags want microwaves
Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
office nosferatu lasts
As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.
marijuana drug together
Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
nuts may warning
Warning: I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.
logic impervious
I'm impervious to logic.
father fanatics
I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.