Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
mcdonalds dollars couches
There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
wine men mouths
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
football country aunt
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
confused home men
If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
atheism dedicated superiority
Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
father 4th-of-july political
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
nails lions audience
I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.
milk yogurt tomorrow
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
want argument hopefully
You don't want to just do a joke because it works - we can make a lot of jokes work - you want to do a joke because it will hopefully build into an argument.
order veto restraint
I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.
ohio two people
Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?" - Stephen Colbert to Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, "The Colbert Report," November 3, 2005
one-day president might
One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.
thirty tolerate amount
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.
laughter medicine antibiotics
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.