Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
reality bias knows
As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
names dry want
I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.
gay accepting made
If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
monkeys next theory
Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
pride mayonnaise hard
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
apology tsa atlanta
I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.
book looks look-up
You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
sarcastic native-american wonderful
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.
promise news i-promise
Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news... at you.
obamacare people needs
Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
waiting care lines
Now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.
television soup news
Gravitas is the soup bone in the stew of television news.
religion atheism worship
Atheism: the religion devoted to the worship of one's own smug sense of superiority.
know-how knows
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.