Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
afraid people
Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
coach good worked
It didn't look like they were comfortable. Coach K and Esteban worked it in and out today, so (WIU) didn't know what was coming, so they didn't get any good swings.
ahead double percent terms visits wind
In terms of visits, we're probably going to wind up 3 to 5 percent ahead in visits and probably double that in revenue.
bad people tax
a tax on people who are bad at math.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
best defensive game
I think that was our best defensive game of the year.
matter quitting placebo
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
dying almost-dying bungee
I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
night gambling people
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
funny humor light
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
funny business humor
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
funny humor kids
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?