Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny hilarious witty
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
funny humor power
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
funny humor justice
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
funny humor cows
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
funny witty time
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
funny humor solitude
Hermits have no peer pressure.
funny ocean humor
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
funny cute time
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
funny humor towels
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
funny summer humor
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
funny death suicide
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
funny suicide writing
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start...
sarcastic cat sarcasm
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
hours faster officers
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.