Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
death fun science
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
funny death suicide
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
funny humor yesterday
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"
mistake listening
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
funny work humor
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
funny humor chickens
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
funny humor dropping-acid
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
wish lasts firsts
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
funny humor water
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
funny time humor
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
laughing bird imagine
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
two evil picks
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
humorous school college
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
funny humorous ideas
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.