Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
snakes owning-a-pet adorable
When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
stage exaggeration expressive
My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
nephew doe attention
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.
reflection mirrors hair
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
elephants pet comedy
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
inferiority very-good inferiority-complex
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
mirrors house tape
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
funny-life redneck way
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
lips karaoke arrested
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
vegetables vegan-food vegetarian
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat
bullpen figure finish five four games next past rest threw week
The past week our bullpen threw a lot, especially with the doubleheaders in the (Rainbow) tournament, and we have five games this weekend, so I figure if I can finish the game off, I can give 'em a little rest so they can go out and get the next four games.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.