Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
bridges radio comedy
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
funny humor frustration
At one point he decided enough was enough.
reading machines done
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
water waiting amphibians
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
moving taken focus
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"
funny humorous needs
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
statistics spots made
43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
hitchhiking thanks said
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.
funny inspiration humor
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
funny friendship baby
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
hockey fighting games
I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
garage garage-sale
I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'
house shapes paint
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
funny money humor
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'