Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
dream night world
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.
funny humor play
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
funny girl humor
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
funny time humor
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
money fax-machines i-can
I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.
funny humor night
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
girlfriend wall thinking
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.
perspective insane trying
The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
kids funny-things wow
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
mind trying looks
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.
branches twigs spit
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
interesting feelings doe
It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling.
snakes owning-a-pet adorable
When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
funny book fall
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.