Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny feelings kind
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
funny humor beer
Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.
funny monday humor
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
hard-work successful way
In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.
funny humor comedy
I invented the cordless extension cord.
funny humor scientist
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
funny humor fog
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
birthday aunt years
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
funny laughter humorous
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
years different criminals
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.
funny christmas brother
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
kids eye black-and-white
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
funny friendship taken
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
funny life baby
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'