Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
cat half half-life
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?
funny humor cat
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
laughing sense-of-humor cattle
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
cat people design
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic herbals for ceramic cats.
cat cooking cat-food
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
sarcastic cat sarcasm
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
dog cat eye
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
american-comedian
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
american-comedian
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.