Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
tv-shows awards giving
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
funny humor giving
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
ideas giving gems
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.
funny humor giving
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
money gun giving
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
american-comedian
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
american-comedian
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
coach decision ended felt good
I felt I could've got him out. Coach made a good decision because we ended up getting him out anyway.