Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
reading machines done
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
zebras reading turns
I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.
reading two glasses
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
reading speed bookmarks
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
jobs book reading
I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.
funny life reading
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
reading writing gears
It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
american-comedian
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
american-comedian
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.