Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
girlfriend wall thinking
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.
funny wall humor
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
funny wall real
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."
friendship wall doors
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper.
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
american-comedian
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
american-comedian
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
coach decision ended felt good
I felt I could've got him out. Coach made a good decision because we ended up getting him out anyway.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.