W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
games shells towns
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
men saws saddest
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
mother my-own
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
thinking long church
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
real opportunity people
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
men suffering lines
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
men lucky alive
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
believe dining empty
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
religious xmas prayer
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
sex
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
mean nerves quiet
Happiness means quiet nerves.
asked ends hard hollywood
I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
play people broadway
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
fall california rose
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.