W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
drinking moving nerves
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
philadelphia fog lasts
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
comedy prosperity behinds
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
hope lost-everything comedy
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
cheating
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
couple color world
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
wells corpses
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
uncles men giving
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
pockets abstinence abstaining
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
drinking alcohol done
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
cheating ifs
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
insulting swallowing plums
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
knives income balls
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
new-year home worry
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.