W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
people knack moral
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
hate prejudice comedy
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
beautiful humorous russia
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
believe biblical whales
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
men needs intoxicated
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
believe church might
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
men hands nine
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
mother brother sunshine
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an ax.
real two today
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
inspirational confidence self-esteem
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
people religion atheism
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
bad face gold head looked miles seven sleep teeth wrinkled
Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.
eight body lawyer
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
men justice world
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.