W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
lying cities laughing
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
mind
Never mind what I told you--you do as I tell you.
life swimming risk
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
baby health drink-milk
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
men fit beast
Ain't fit for man nor beast
ambition men america
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
drinking coffee simple
We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.
morning cynical firsts
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
girl two
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
dream conceited men
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does.
agents presses
It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.
children comedy should
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
break contracts best-things
The best thing to break is a contract.