W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
wings pigs pigeons
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
noise i-can
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
girl children twenties
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
funny marriage women
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
religious drinking hysteria
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
cheating
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
philadelphia all-things
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
beer devil firsts
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
grateful forever good-man
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
uncles men giving
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
night bills lasts
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
drinking together bars
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
drinking hollywood ends
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
break
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.