W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
trust water alcohol
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
drinking
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.
want i-can can-do
I can do anything I want to do!
giving middle establishment
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
food water rust
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
money prosperity around-the-corner
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
nine cigar
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
doctors undertaker
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
drinking wine excellence
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
hope lost-everything comedy
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
witty children hate
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
witty age needs
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
scotch water needs
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
doctors lawyer dentist
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.