W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
thinking long church
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
believe church might
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
everyday simple smile smiles start
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with.
politics
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
american-comedian prejudice
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
drove thank
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
american-comedian lies
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
reform
Go back to reform school, you little nose-picker!
equality free hate
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
rather
On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.
cross eat heart hope weight
Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.
cheating worth
Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
betting good horse horses judgement keeps
Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.
american-comedian handy
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.