W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
reform
Go back to reform school, you little nose-picker!
drinking water fishes
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
gambling alcohol other-half
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
tragedy comedy happenings
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
election vote
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
agents presses
It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.
whole
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
money advice might
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
drinking fifth
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
drinking beer stronger
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
drinking hands whisky
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
chess world worst
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
wedding believe long
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
drinking water lost
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.