W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
doctors lawyer dentist
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
money lawyer ifs
When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
mom mother lawyer
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
eight body lawyer
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
everyday simple smile smiles start
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with.
politics
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
american-comedian prejudice
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
drove thank
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
american-comedian lies
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
reform
Go back to reform school, you little nose-picker!
equality free hate
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
rather
On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.
cross eat heart hope weight
Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.
cheating worth
Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.