Related Quotes
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
children education ensure enter gradually great high indiana integrated prepared quality schools shame state system
Pre-K is gradually being integrated into the K-12 education system nationwide. In a state that has so many great universities like Purdue, Indiana and Notre Dame, it's a shame (Indiana) won't do more to ensure its own children are better prepared to enter those schools with high quality pre-K. Libby Doggett
children created happy parents
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
children equal opportunity strongly
We feel very strongly about all children having an equal opportunity for education,
children chocolate cookie favorite nut
We got our favorite cookie and our favorite chocolate and our favorite nut mix. And then we got suckers to make our children happy.
children gave home kids large raising routines stayed together women
We go to college, live together or marry, and have kids - often with little more thought to the daily routines of raising children than our grandparents gave them, when women by and large stayed at home. Mona Simpson
children excited great
We're very excited about this. This is a great thing for the children.
children protect themselves
Very young children can just not protect themselves as effectively as adults can.
children stupid easy
It's easy to manipulate your children when they're absolutely sure you're stupid. Orson Scott Card
children disservice learn respect sacrifices time
You do your children a disservice if you don't find time for yourself. If you're always making sacrifices for them, they won't learn to respect your time as they grow.
talking people records
You can't just walk away when somebody recognizes you. You have to take some time out and talk to them. It's not a waste of time - I just love talking to people. And I don't do this to sell records. The truth is, I do what I do because I love it. Kenny G
talking two dating
San Bernardino involved two killers were actually radicalized before they started courting or dating each other online, and online as late as - as early as the end of 2013, they were talking to each other about jihad and martyrdom before they became engaged and then married and lived together in the United States. Keith Ellison
talking ice soldier
Tatiana...you and I had only one moment..." said Alexander. "A single moment in time, in your time and mine...one instant, when another life could have still been possible." He kissed her lips. "Do you know what I'm talking about?" When Tatiana looked up from her ice cream, she saw a soldier staring at her from across the street. "I know that moment," whispered Tatiana. Paullina Simons
talking time
They're so crispy. You're talking a long time ago here.
talking people film
Hitchcock denigrated American films, saying they were all 'pictures of people talking' - as, indeed, most of them are. David Mamet
talking
To my wife, I'm not Herbie Hancock the musician. I'm her husband. When I'm talking to a neighbor, I'm a neighbor. When I vote, I'm a citizen. Herbie Hancock
talking negative stabbing
All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good. Louis C. K.