Related Quotes
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
friendship honesty believe
Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves. Albert Camus
friendship phones cells
My cell phone is my best friend. It's my lifeline to the outside world. Carrie Underwood
friends-or-friendship mighty poorer
We can get mighty rich, but if we haven't got any friends, we will find we are poorer than anybody. Will Rogers
friendship divorce shoes
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. "Yet," added he, "none of you can tell where it pinches me.'' Plutarch
country war thinking
To say that we're going to end countries or eradicate terrorism, and that it's a long war over many years, with many different instruments, suggests a much more complex and drawn-out conflict for which, I think, most Americans aren't prepared. Edward Said
country people care
I know media is not necessarily focused on these things. But what a campaign is about is not Hillary Clinton, it's not Donald Trump. It is the people of this country, people who are working longer hours for lower wages, people who do not have health care or are underinsured. Bernie Sanders
country home message
We want to get the message out that they can go to any Home Depot in the country and get a job. David Sandor
country kinds laws legal obtaining situation turned valid women
Women all over the country are being turned away from obtaining valid and legal prescriptions. These kinds of laws would only make the situation worse. It's shameful. Jackie Payne
country industry runs
This whole country runs on fuel, but our industry for sure, Frank Adams
country depend district races run talking
We try to run these races district by district. It will really just depend on which part of the country and which district you are talking about.
country mile
When it goes, it is going to go a country mile pretty quickly.
country hundred
When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks. David Spade
country court leave rule supreme
We do not know if the court or the Supreme Court will rule and say they'll have to leave the country completely.