Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Landers

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.

Ann Landers

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

Ann Landers

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Ann Landers

One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.

Alfred North Whitehead

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred Kahn

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.

Aldo Leopold

My dog does not care where heat comes from, but he cares that it comes, and soon. Indeed he considers my ability to make it come as something magical, for when I rise in the coal black pre-dawn and kneel by the hearth to make a fire, he pushes himself blandly between me and the kindling splits I have laid in the ashes, and I must touch a match to them by poking it between his legs. Such faith , I suppose, is the kind that moves mountains.

Aldous Huxley

Somewhere in the rain, there will always be an abandoned dog that prevents you from being happy.

Aldous Huxley

In a few years, no doubt, marriage licences will be sold like dog licences, good for 12 months.

Aldous Huxley

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion. . . . Dogs do not ritually urinate in the hope of persuading heaven to do the same and send down rain. Asses do not bray a liturgy to cloudless skies. Nor do cats attempt, by abstinence from cat's meat, to wheedle the feline spirits into benevolence. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.

Aldous Huxley

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

Albert Einstein

Experts are just trained dogs.

Andy Johnson

Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.

Andrew Niccol

Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film,

Liam Hemsworth

Southern people remind me a lot of Australia.

Jim Anderson

So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,

Mark Rylance

So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it.

Jesse Toprak

Now, for vehicles priced under $40,000, it is one of the first questions people ask.

Cesar Romero

Now I don't know half of the young people in the industry. It's too spread out, too diffuse.

Lois Lowry

Nowadays it seems as though people sit down to write what they know is going to be a trilogy.

Robin Cook

Tell the people of Serbia how much wealth you have sucked out during the same years they have been impoverished in Serbia,