Related Quotes
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
humorists
Great humorists are great insulters. Dick Cavett
evil reason no-reason
Evil requires no reason. Alberto Manguel
evil
Good is that which promotes life, evil is that which destroys life Albert Schweitzer
evil good men needed prosper
The only thing needed for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke
evil imperfection shadow
Flatterers are the worst kind of traitors, for they will strengthen thy imperfections, encourage thee in all evils, correct thee in nothing, but so shadow and paint thy follies and vices as thou shalt never, by their will, discover good from evil, or vice from virtue. Walter Raleigh
evil has-beens
For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. Yann Martel
evil use want
Like anything else, you can use the Internet for good or ill. You can get out of it what you want to. There's no evil about it. The way I see it, it's a liberation. Willie Nelson
evil work-out crucible
Perhaps evil is the crucible of goodness... and perhaps even Satan - Satan, in spite of himself - somehow serves to work out the will of God. William Peter Blatty
evil world envious
That some are poorer than others, ever was and ever will be: And that many are naturally querulous and envious, is an Evil as old as the World. William Petty
evil evil-thoughts ruins
Evil thoughts and evil doing, cold, alone, you hang in ruins. Ozzy Osbourne