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fly leave ready tells
You know what that tells me? It tells me they are not ready to fly on their own, not ready to leave the nest. George Barrett
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
further saw shoulders stood
If I saw further than other men, it was because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Isaac Newton
opened warehouse
We thought it was a warehouse but when we opened it, the pews were still in it.
people save threatened
Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.
people political
Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film, Andrew Niccol
people
Southern people remind me a lot of Australia. Liam Hemsworth
people premium trying
So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,
people response terms tied
So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it. Mark Rylance
people questions vehicles
Now, for vehicles priced under $40,000, it is one of the first questions people ask.
people spread
Now I don't know half of the young people in the industry. It's too spread out, too diffuse. Cesar Romero
people though
Nowadays it seems as though people sit down to write what they know is going to be a trilogy. Lois Lowry
people sucked wealth
Tell the people of Serbia how much wealth you have sucked out during the same years they have been impoverished in Serbia, Robin Cook
thinking issues want
A bad author can take the most moral issue and make you want to just never, ever think about that moral issue. Azar Nafisi
thinking religion trying
Never try to discourage thinking, for you are sure to succeed. Bertrand Russell
thinking able taxation
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. Charles Kettering
thinking soul mind
When I look back, it saddens me to think that I was so hard on myself - when I was younger, I thought I had to look like everyone else, but I learned that beauty comes from how you feel about yourself. Once I started taking care of my mind, body, and soul, I realized that I didn't need to conform to what's "normal" and started to love myself. Demi Lovato
thinking interesting rhyme
I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone. Demetri Martin
thinking iowa the-end-of-the-day
What the Des Moines Register said - you know, there were coin - I think there were half a dozen coin flips - a fairly chaotic type situation. At the end of the day, no matter how it's recounted, it will break roughly even. I love and respect the caucus process in Iowa. See, and I don't have to say it, because they voted already. Bernie Sanders
thinking years people
It's great to know that our old stuff still sounds good to our fans, just as it's wonderful to think that we've turned a few people on to jazz over the years. Donald Fagen
thinking environment
I don't think you can escape the environment we live in now.
thinking may inseparable
I think of Steely Dan as being of its time, and it may be inseparable from its time.