Related Quotes
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.' Anthony Jeselnik
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. Anthony Jeselnik
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. Ann Landers
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. Ann Landers
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one. Ann Landers
morning sex white
People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist - all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning. Chuck Palahniuk
morning home successful
What surprised me about directing is how much I loved it and how happy I am to be on the set. I love coming to work in the morning. What I realized is that I never loved acting. I don't love being in the hair and makeup chair. I don't [love] being in costume. To me the strangest thing is that I've just spent the majority of my life in one aspect of this business, and because I was fortunate enough to become successful I never questioned whether I felt at home and found out later in life that I'm much happier directing. Angelina Jolie
morning trying shapes
Every time I get up in the morning, melodies occur to me and I start trying to shape lyrics to melodies. Andrew Bird
morning college america
While I was in college, I became a page at ABC. Suddenly I was working for Good Morning America, local news, national news. The page is the lowest rung of the ladder, and it's the also the place where you can ask any question and not feel dumb. Anne Sweeney
morning farewell light
That morning I was not yet a vampire, and I saw my last sunrise. I remember it completely, and yet I can't recall any sunrise before it. I watched its whole magnificence for the last time as if it were the first. And then I said farewell to sun light, and set out to become what I became. Anne Rice
morning heart mind
Psychologically, I will not have to seek far if I decide to kill myself, because in my mind and heart I am more ready for this than for the unplanned daily tribulations that mark off the mornings and afternoons. Andrew Solomon
morning father book
Ursula and Gudrun Brangwen sat one morning in the window-bay of their father's house in Beldover, working and talking. D. H. Lawrence
morning doctors lust
When I went to the scientific doctor I realised what a lust there was in him to wreak his so-called science on me and reduce me to the level of a thing. So I said: Good-morning! and left him. D. H. Lawrence
morning flower adventure
And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created. D. H. Lawrence
time vacation
Before, I just used vacation time when we did tours. Mike Davis
time
We were dominated. At no time were we in this game. Jack Parker
time hands schedules
A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. Annie Dillard
time lying silence
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better, Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time. Thomas Carlyle
time register
Wherever anything lives, there is, open somewhere, a register in which time is being inscribed. Henri Bergson
time
Really? I think for a long time they probably didn't have a quarterback because they were a wishbone team. Gil Brandt
time
Reflection is not something you have a lot of time for. Robert Battle
time
If you think back to your time as a teenager, everything was dramatic. Sarah MacLean
time
In New York, I wear dark denim most of the time. Renzo Rosso