Related Quotes
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer. Anthony Jeselnik
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. Ann Landers
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
mother lying lessons
Never lie to your mother. That's like the biggest lesson that I learned, learned throughout my life, you know? Bristol Palin
mother daughter thinking
My daughter's just going to be really hip! My goal is to be as eco-conscious as possible: There's so much out there for parents who want to do that. I plan to keep her eco-friendly as she gets older. I think we all sort of have to do it. Ana Ortiz
mother earth want
The only thing I want is to awaken all humans on the planet that we are living on Mother Earth. Afrika Bambaataa
mother speech taught
Do not use the sharpness of your speech on your mother who taught you how to speak. Ali ibn Abi Talib
mother smart play
What happened to me is that as I grew up, I found that I was smart. My mother had insisted on that you see. Oh, but I loved to play ball. I loved the physical aspect. So you have one leg in one field, and one leg in the other and you're nowhere. Alexander Lowen
mother secret want
I do chat to my mother in Norwegian, particularly when we want a secret conversation. It is useful that way. Alexander Hanson
mother freedom liberty
The free press is the mother of all our liberties and of our progress under liberty. Adlai E. Stevenson
mother jesus prayer
Did any of you, parents, ever hear your child wake from sleep with some panic fear and shriek the mother's name through the darkness? Was not that a more powerful appeal than all words? And, depend upon it, that the soul which cries aloud on God, "the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ," though it have "no language but a cry," will never call in vain. Alexander MacLaren
mother running daughter
Daughters could survive a powerful mother, but boys found it almost impossible. Such boys were often severely damaged and spent the rest of their lives running away from their mothers, or from anybody who remotely reminded them of their mothers; either that, or they became their mothers, in a desperate, misguided act of psychological self defence. Alexander McCall Smith
horse absurdity
Any manwhose love of horses isstronger thanhis fear of being an absurdity is all right with me. Bill Vaughan
horse athlete good-athlete
I love watching a good horse do what he's bred to do - I guess that's what I like the most about it. And I love to see good athletes do what they're bred to do. Wilford Brimley
horse government play
The invisible government [bosses] is malign. But the evil doesn't come from the fact that it plays horse with the Newtonian theory of the constitution. What is dangerous about it is that we do not see it, cannot use it, and are compelled to submit to it. Walter Lippmann
horse fun athlete
Acting is sort of an extension of childhood. You get to play all of these roles and have so much fun. Playing an athlete would be so cool. Or where you get to shoot guns, ride horses. I wouldn't turn down any of that. Jon Hamm
horse pulled
The horse has pulled up very well and his shins are great.
horse military men
In the last analysis, one must be a military man in order to govern. It is only with boot and spurs that one can govern a horse. Napoleon Bonaparte
horse silly thinking
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse.
horse world mules
In the world of mules there are no rules.
horse fighting animal
A political convention is after all not a meeting of a corporation's board of directors; it is a fiesta, a carnival, a pig-rooting, horse-snorting, band-playing, voice-screaming medieval get-together of greed, practical lust, compromised idealism, career-advancement, meeting, feud, vendetta, conciliation, of rabble-rousers, fist fights (as it used to be), embraces, drunks (again as it used to be) and collective rivers of animal sweat. Norman Mailer