Quotes about funny
funny husband men
Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found. Eminem
funny friends circles
Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. Eminem
funny gains nothing-to-lose
I have nothing to lose, but something to gain. Eminem
funny dog thinking
I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I've discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb. Jasper Carrott
funny fighting sean
I could take Sean Connery in a fight... I could definitely take him. Harrison Ford
funny mean talking
We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it. Hannibal Buress
funny want pigeons
I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon. Hannibal Buress
funny winning doors
Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life. Hannibal Buress
funny believe lap
I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself. Hannibal Buress
funny women memorable
Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it. Hannah More
funny people looks
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking. Guy Pearce
funny thinking elements
It's funny, though, with films, because you can incorporate a variety of elements, and sometimes that can work for you and sometimes I think it can work against you. Guy Pearce
funny thinking thoughtful
The more popular a person thinks he is in the blogosphere, the thinner his skin and the thicker his hypocrisy. This should be exactly the opposite: the higher you go the thicker the skin and thinner the hypocrisy. Guy Kawasaki
funny men dresses
"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress." Greg Giraldo
funny school thinking
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? Greg Giraldo
funny-love husband hands
Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. Bill Cosby
funny family children
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. Bill Cosby
funny humor timing
The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off. Bill Cosby
funny god hope
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. Bill Cosby
funny-relationship heart cuz
My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there. Carrie Fisher
funny-marriage spices add
An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know. Bette Davis
funny military humor
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. Bill Hicks
funny-friend heaven hell
It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell. George Herbert
funny-things
I never say a funny thing intentionally. Jayne Meadows
funny witty father
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings Jay London
funny-inspirational eating supermodel
You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one. Jay Leno
funny baby lying
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies ... a man lie is, "I was at Kevin's house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!" Chris Rock
funny war humor
I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs. Chris Rock
funny rap humor
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!" Chris Rock
funny brother hate
Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!" Chris Rock
funny basketball baseball
You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think? Chris Rock