Famous Quotes & Sayings

Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Groucho Marx

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Groucho Marx

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Groucho Marx

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Groucho Marx

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Groucho Marx

I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.

Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Golda Meir

Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse.

Golda Meir

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.

Golda Meir

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!

Harpo Marx

Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. "Harpo my boy," he said, "I'm going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should always remember." My heart jumped and I glowed with expectation. I was going to hear the magic password to a rich, full life from the master himself. "Yes sir?" I said. And he told me the three things. I regret that I've forgotten what they were.

Harriet Martineau

Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.

Harper Lee

Ladies pick funny things to be proud of.

Igor Stravinsky

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Ian Rush

Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country.

Hugh Sidey

A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.

Hugo Black

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.

Howard Nemerov

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Hank Aaron

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hannah Arendt

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse.

Gore Vidal

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that they're scraping the top of the barrel.

Gore Vidal

There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television.

Gib Lewis

I cannot tell you how grateful I am - I am filled with humidity.

Harold Pinter

The weasel under the cocktail cabinet.

Jalen Rose

I really like Rafer Alston. We get along great. We have a lot of fun times together that I can’t share with you guys.

Jaime King

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set

Jackie Collins

The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them.

Jack Whitehall

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.

Jack Whitehall

Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead?