Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jack Whitehall

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.

Jennifer Aniston

Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or…I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know

Jennifer Aniston

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.

Jennifer Aniston

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.

Jennifer Aniston

Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day.

Jennifer Aniston

I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.

Jennifer Aniston

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

Jeanne Calment

Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program.

Gloria Estefan

Stevie Wonder always smells so good... I'm like a DEA dog, I can smell people a block away!

Gertrude Stein

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

Gertrude Stein

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop

Gerald R. Ford

Ronald Regan doesn't dye his hair - he's just prematurely orange.

Gerald R. Ford

Obviously, it's a great privilege and pleasure to be here at the Yale Law School Sesquicentennial Convocation. And I defy anyone to say that and chew gum at the same time.

Jim Jefferies

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

Jim Denny

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck.

Jim Davidson

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

Jim Davis

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

Jim Davis

When all else fails, look cute.

Jim Davis

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.

Jim Davis

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Jessamyn West

A good time for laughing is when you can.

Jeremy Northam

The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London.

Jeremy Paxman

The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Jenny McCarthy

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.

Glen Hansard

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. Like it's a collection of your diary entries and you pick which one's gonna make the most sense together and you put out a record and you sort of live it.

Glenn Close

Celebrity is death - celebrity - that's the worst thing that can happen to an actor.

Gilda Radner

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

Harry Vardon

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Frank Zappa

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.