Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
war drinking fighting
I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.
one-day dozen want
One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.
kids gay blood
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
real america realizing
Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
blow ipods anthem
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
powerful soul needs
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
two matter pancakes
No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
girl quality underrated
Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
funny spring break
It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
puppets likes sock
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
funny trying racist
I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.
second-chance perfect ifs
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
funny ideas people
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
garden eden firsts
If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?