Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
world wonder deals
I wonder how they deal with mice at Disney World.
cowboy sound reason
For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.
trying impress equations
If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.
america allies found
I just found out that I have more allies than America!
breathing majority attention
You mock those who blindly follow the majority...turn your attention now to those who are so dedicated to deviating from the norm that they would gladly cease breathing if it were suggested to them that inhalation was a form of conformity; for they deserve just as much scrutiny and ridicule.
artist tiles bathroom
If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.
congratulations giving grapes
I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.
sports okay frisbee
I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
weather firsts sometimes
Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.
dog cat looks
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
cake world born
I like birthdays. Every time someone is born, that's just like bringing more cake into the world.
enemy sofas productivity
The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
hands puppets gloves
A glove is a very literal looking hand puppet.
trying sunglasses credibility
To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.