Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
woods american-education-system secretary
The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.
summer america september-11
After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.
collective-unconscious dressing-up america
America was founded by puritans and like it or not the anti-pleasure dogma of those buckled-shoed killjoys still pervades our collective unconscious like an I-max shot of Dennis Franz's naked hairy cop ass. Hence, anything enjoyable is automatically forbidden and bad and in our panic to avoid it at all cost we become obsessed with it... like dressing up in a pink teddy and a pair of ugboots and repeatedly screaming the word 'VERBOTEN!' into a conk shell balanced on the back on a miniature pony... Oh, I see.. That would just be me.
gossip coins lightning
I find it shocking that anybody can be brought down in D.C. for gossip, ostensibly. I thought that was the coin of the realm there. That's like getting hit with lightning on a cloudless day.
mother crazy party
When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
dog thinking pavlov
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
mud hell holes
When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.
teacher thinking employment
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
nice house littles
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
people looks burgers
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
thinking people catholic
I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.
entering splinters becoming
Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
trying imperfect veneer
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."
smart people dumb
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.