Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
Julius Henry Marx, known professionally as Groucho Marx, was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth2 October 1890
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Firefly: Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we oughta have? Chicolini: Well, I tell you what I think. I think we should have a standing army. Firefly: Why should we have a standing army? Chicolini: Because then we save money on chairs.
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.