Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
football stars team
I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.
dope want sound
I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
kids window-panes weather
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
baby men ideas
There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
offending about-yourself
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
splits firsts spirit
Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.
practice life-is do-it-yourself
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
sex heart doors
Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
advice follow work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
american-comedian walker
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
american-comedian head pro reason tells
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.