Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
giving sloth trials
Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.
philosophy buddhism meditation
I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
elbows body complaining
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
cooking may taste
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
cake feelings recipes
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
husband coffee giving
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
get-well believe mind
Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.
lakes placid happenings
Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
war tragedy would-be
Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.
husband giving want
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
night hours originals
Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour.
wall home people
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
sports tennis marrying
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
football stars team
I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.