Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
real laughing real-things
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.
water three three-times
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
inspirational birthday age
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
inspirational couple husband
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
kids play office
When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
apples shapes adam
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
hats faces screws
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
humor adjusting way
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
kissing hug ends
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
self self-pity pity
self-pity is better than none.
husband wind house
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
growing-up mark wells
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
grandchildren birth-control want
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
husband
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.