Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
Phyllis Diller quotes about
measurement records phonograph
They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
smart hate clerks
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
humility humble mirrors
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
mom witty funny-inspirational
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
fitness exercise ideas
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
funny family mom
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
funny witty humorous
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
sister-in-law stripes dresses
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
dinner taste tvs
I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.
compliments-you shoes barefoot
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
beauty use emergencies
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
pregnancy common birth
By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
wanted
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
spring kids parent
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.