Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
children advice bottles
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
yards buried housework
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
fitness exercise ideas
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
inspirational mother pain
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
inspirational funny witty
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
age how-you-feel aging
I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
police remember policemen
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
ruins looks moonlight
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
children writing dust
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
funny family mom
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
children growing-up silly
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
beautiful girl friday
When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not include securing the groom. Plan to get married on Friday the 13th. In years to come this will make it much easier to explain why things turned out badly. To look beautiful at your wedding, take time to plan it. It took me a long time to find two ugly bridesmaids and a frumpy little flower girl.
funny witty humorous
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
inspirational night central-park
I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.