Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
husband medicine sloth
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
grandchildren birth-control want
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
growing-up mark wells
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
men dating sick
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
husband coffee sloth
Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
sloth pills laziness
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.
husband
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
humor wrinkles enough
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
inspirational morning kissing
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.
inspirational lying house
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
inspirational coffee kids
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.
inspirational morning moving
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
inspirational people littles
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
inspirational people parlor
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!