Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny work humor
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
funny humor school
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
funny humor names
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
good-morning girlfriend mistake
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
funny humor tickets
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
funny humor way
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
funny humor phones
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<
funny dog moving
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
funny nature humor
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
funny beautiful humor
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"
funny humor giving
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
communication home car
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
funny humor firsts
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
funny humor body
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.