Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
sarcastic hurt feels
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
drug may scenic
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
mcdonalds ideas expansion
I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald's. I'm completely turned off by the idea of politics.
pawns pawn-shops chess
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
imagine
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
fuzzy doe logic
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
yesterday eyeglasses prescriptions
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
dog my-dog walks
I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
keys car break-out
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
wish lasts firsts
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.
branches twigs spit
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
funny humor feet
I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
lasts week bicycle
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
funny humor coats
I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.