Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
dog my-dog walks
I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
funny humor shadow
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
hawaii highways interstate
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
killing eternity time-to-kill
If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
funny humor psychics
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
tired night trying
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
funny time fall
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...
funny humor owing
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
funny life gone
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
unique remember
always remember your unique, just like everone else
dream baby mad
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
reflection mirrors hair
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
funny humor thinking
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.
funny real humor
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.