Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor matter
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
funny humor severity
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
science car looks
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.
trust two glasses
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!
funny humor people
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
funny sarcastic humorous
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
funny couple mistake
Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.
amnesia
I had amnesia once or twice.
hands watches thirds
Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?
hockey men goalies
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
funny clever smart
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
funny zero humor
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
names mets supermarkets
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
pawns pawn-shops chess
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?