Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
narrators used mime
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
funny humor saws
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda
death girlfriend one-day
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
funny humor clerks
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
funny art humor
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
funny humor average
Half the people you know are below average.
funny humor remote-control
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
funny humor phones
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."
money fees fund
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
funny children humor
I was an only child, eventually.
funny humor house
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
money party italian
A fool and his money are soon partying.
girlfriend writing white
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
funny wall real
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."