Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny gardening ants
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!
funny humor pigs
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
funny humor lethal-injection
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
insightful kind hindsight
In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
funny humor psychics
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
voice dull said
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
waiting
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
home cutting light
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'
father stranger ten
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
running real home
Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick
kids house scare
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
running home batteries
What do batteries run on?
toys schedules train
Do you have any toy train schedules?
house sandwiches fifty
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.