Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny baby humor
I took a baby shower.
inferiority very-good inferiority-complex
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
funny memories humor
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
photography needs cameras
I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.
teacher school class
I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
dog paranoid not-sure
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
mirrors house tape
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
mind madness lost
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
kids perception taught
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
sleep naps consciousness
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
funny success clever
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
doctors work-out shapes
My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'
funny humor ideas
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
funny happy-birthday friends
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'