Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
dog fun insane
I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
funny humor eyeglasses
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
money gun giving
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
funny husband humor
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
dog pet gone
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
funny humor night
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
funny humor long
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
coffee comedy break
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
funny humor people
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
tree forests fronts
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it.
funny humor night
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?
funny humor night
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
lips karaoke arrested
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
funny humor gun
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?