Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor agents
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
funny humor sweaters
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
funny time humor
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
funny sarcastic sports
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
funny children humor
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
funny life sarcastic
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
funny food coffee
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
people support bacteria
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
funny witty laughter
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
funny humor laughing
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
funny witty book
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
sacrifice ice-cream years
Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
funny time humor
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
funny humor people
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!